


Scared to Be Lonely

by aliensscullaay



Series: Vanity Fest, 2018 [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Makeup Sex, Vanity, Vanity Fest, probably, vanityfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 16:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensscullaay/pseuds/aliensscullaay
Summary: Set after the events of 11/10/18 where Kim Tate is pushed from the balcony at Home Farm. The odds are stacked against Charity as the guests of the Mascarade Ball assume her late arrival to the scene and lack of alibi means that it must be her, even her girlfriend has doubts. But does Vanessa actually think that Charity is capable?





	Scared to Be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Written for VanityFest 2018, Thursay 11th, Angst. 
> 
> Right, after watching the episode I was convinced that, even if only for a second, Vanessa looked at Charity and wondered if she was the one who pushed Kim. This is my take on how Charity would probably react if Ness did decide to ask her if it was possible she has more of a part than she says she does...

“Thanks for fetching me babe, thought I’d be there all night.” Charity sighed, launching her bag onto the backroom sofa of The Woolpack. “Want a brew? I’m gonna stick the kettle on, police stations are proper dry place-“

She paused her rummaging in the cupboards to notice her girlfriend, frozen in the doorway.

“Ness?”

Vanessa, unmoving, opened her mouth and closed it again without a word.

“Ness, you’re scaring me babe...” Charity closed the distance between them in seconds, putting her hands on Vanessa’s hips. “It’s understandable you’re still in shock, even if she was a total bitch, seeing someone crashing into a champagne fountain has gotta be pretty traumatic- ”

“Charity...” Vanessa’s voice was quiet... scared, she swallowed. Green eyes searched blue.

 “Did you do it?”

Charity’s mouth dropped open, her hands slid off Vanessa’s hips. This was not happening, the one person Charity trusted the most out of every one in her life, how could Ness even believe she could do something like this? Sure, Charity had done some horrific things in her life but she’s never attempted to kill anyone out of anything other than self-defence. Besides, she was not about to throw her life away on someone like Kim Tate, she was not worth it. She stepped back and allowed herself to fall onto the sofa behind her, Vanessa remained where she was.

“Do you honestly think that I’m capable of doing something- something like this?” She felt her eyes beginning to sting, the smaller blonde made a noise in her throat.

“I need you to answer me, please Charity” Vanessa’s voice cracked, but still she didn’t move.

“I can’t believe I have to justify myself to you Ness, of all people, I thought you would believe me, or at least trust me when I say I DIDN’T do it!” She stood up now, turning her back towards her girlfriend.

Vanessa moved, finally, making her way towards Charity.

“Then that’s all, I just needed to hear you say it” She reached up to put her hands on tall shoulders. However, they were immediately shaken off.

“No! No Vanessa, you do not get to accuse me of-“ She paused. “of that and then act like everything is fine” She wheeled round and pointed at her girlfriend. “That is not fair.”

The shorter woman appeared even smaller in this moment.

“Charity, I’m sorry. Okay, I just needed to ask because you weren’t there and then you appeared after she fell and I just needed to make sure-“

“So you actually did think for more than a second that it _was_ me, you do think I am capable of murder in cold blood. Well, always nice to know what your girlfriend thinks of you isn’t it?” She stalked to the doorway. “Stay here.”

Vanessa could do nothing other than what she was told. The horrific thought had actually cross her mind, for a short second, when she saw Charity come down the stairs after Kim fell, she did actually think that maybe she had pushed her. It didn’t help that Charity was being incredibly defensive when the crowd at the house was accusing her. In hindsight corner a puppy and they will bark, teeth and all. But seeing the look on her girlfriend’s face when she herself accused her said it all. Vanessa knew she didn’t do it. She knew she’d made a terrible mistake.

Charity returned seconds later, clutching an opened bottle of whiskey. “This brings back memories doesn’t it this?” She pointed to the bottle and took a swig, wincing and wiping her mouth on the back of her hand “We almost made it Ness, almost made it. You know what tomorrow is don’t ya?”

Vanessa was close to tears. “Charity no, please don’t” Her glassy eyes followed the other woman across the room. “I didn’t mean…”

“You didn’t mean what? To accuse me of murder? Or attempted murder, stupid cow survived didn’t she.” She took another swig from the bottle.

“I didn’t mean to accuse you, I just wanted to make sure- “

“Really? It felt like you were accusing me, you looked scared of me.” A dry laugh. “You know Vanessa, I thought you were different. I thought you were the one person who would always trust in me, believe in me and have my back.”

Vanessa sniffed, she was crying now and there was no point hiding how guilty she felt.

“But I do, I will _always_ have your back and I do believe you! I just panicked, nobody knows who did it and I was just scared. I didn’t want to lose you, I was prepared to lie to the police if you’d told me it was you.”

“Oh, how touching, she was prepared to lie for me.” She raised her arms dramatically. “even if she did think I had murdered someone. Girlfriend of the bloody year you are.”

“Look, I made a mistake okay. A massive _monumental_ mistake. I didn’t mean it to hurt you.”

She scoffed. “A mistake that cost you your girlfriend, goodbye Vanessa.”

Vanessa’s shoulders dropped and her voice broke. “What?”

Charity was at the door. “I’m going upstairs, I said goodbye Vanessa.”

And she was gone.

 

She couldn’t let it end like this. The last year, even if the first couple of months hadn’t been official, had been the best of her life. Charity Dingle really did rock her world and she had gone and let it hit rock bottom. Deep down she knew that it wasn’t Charity that pushed Kim, she just had that one tiny little voice that kept asking her ‘what if’ and she spiralled, imagining all kinds of things, of a life without Charity. Now she had pretty much ensured that life for herself.

“God you’re like a lost puppy you, I thought I said goodbye. Meaning that was your queue to leave” Charity was laid on top of her duvet, still in her red dress, hair splayed out around her and the whiskey on the nightstand beside her.

“I’m not letting this happen”

“Oh its happened already”

Vanessa shook off the fresh tears she could feel building and cleared her throat. “I fell in love with you Charity Dingle-“

“So did I, and then you accused me of murder so..”

The smaller blonde ignored her and moved further into the room. “- and that means that I’m not going to make this easy for you.”

Charity opened her mouth to interject.

“ah, I’m trying to save my neck, just hear me out.”

Green eyes rolled.

“A year ago, you changed my world. You came in with a bottle of whiskey” she pointed to the bottle on the nightstand. “and your filthy one liners and you turned my life upside down. You changed everything for me.”

“Actually you were the drunkard who kicked away the doorstop so..”

Ness ignored her.

“Tonight, I was scared; I wasn’t accusing you of murder. If you’d said you didn’t do it, I would have said ‘okay let’s move on’ and if you had said you did, I would have said ‘okay how do we get you out of this?’. I was worried I was going to lose you. I wasn’t scared of you, I was scared I was going to have to be without you. I’m sorry if it came out wrong, I wish I could go back and ask a different way. I really was prepared to give you an alibi, to lie to the police to keep you by my side.”

Charity shifted on the bed, allowing Vanessa to perch next to her. Her expression softened.

“Ness, I know you weren’t accusing me. I’m sorry for overreacting it’s been a stressful day and I’ve been accused from all angles. I’m sorry too.”

A single tear escaped a blue eye and a deep breath was released.

“Charity Dingle, I let myself fall for you, really and truly.”

She lay down on the bed as arms laced around her body, Charity pulled her close and smiled into a mass of blonde hair.

 “Stupidly and completely.”

They lay in silence for a while, holding each other.

“See, this is what I was worried about losing, I was so worried about losing it, that I almost lost it…does that make sense?”

“I’ve learned to speak fluent Vanessa after a year babe.”

“Oi, cheeky mare!”

Charity sighed. “I definitely overreacted, I forget I don’t have to defend myself to you. I’m just used to Dingle Court, ya know.”

“Your family does come up with some utter _bullshit,_ you know that right?” Vanessa rolled over to face her girlfriend (it felt good to still think of her like that, considering she’d almost lost the title).

“I grew up with it babe, there is nothing they can do to surprise me anymore. Anyway,” she leaned forward and closed her eyes, Vanessa seemed to understand as their lips collided in a hungry kiss. “wanna know how you can make it up to me?”

She nodded her head slightly and had to fight back a giggle as Vanessa mirrored the movement, crashing their lips together once more.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry. but at least it ends with make up sex right?


End file.
